I am neither here nor there, but am caught in the land of in-between. Groundless, not having a foothold in either world, I dart between the tangible hardness of day to day reality and the hard to find tenderness of the heart.

On this journey, the ticket for entry is looking inwards and facing all aspects of who I am. The anger, the sadness, the love, the caring, the selfishness, the compassion, all of it, good and bad.  One aspect that has been ignored for a long time is my femininity.  I have hidden it and disguised it, tried to avert attention from it by proving that “I’m just one of the boys.” For much of my life, I have been told this aspect of my nature is a vulnerability and a weakness.

But it is time to rescue this part of me from the darkness. It will no longer be relegated to an afterthought.  It can be held up high and embraced and respected.  It is part of me and needs to be celebrated, to be cherished and cultivated. All aspects, all parts of me are beautiful and perfect as they are. Funny how I still feel uncomfortable writing that. But I know, there are no imperfections, no mistakes, no shame. As I see this more clearly, the world also begins to see and respect. I am a unique being out of 6 billion. No one is like me. I truly am one of a kind. I don’t need to be fixed or changed or modified. I just need to be and express precisely who I am. At times, this is easy, and at times, it is extremely difficult. But that’s all there is.IMG_4465

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