I didn’t have a sound sleep last night. Went to bed about midnight and random images filled my head – relatively meaningless. Awoke early and it was light outside about 5am. Got up, dressed, made a cup of tea which I had sitting on the porch wrapped in a warm blanket. The sun has just come up and is half way up the oak trees to the left. It breaks through the branches with rays of brilliance. It is cold and the wind continues to blow.

I walk to the cliff and sit there with eyes closed. I hear geese calling out as they swim by in straight lines of 4 or 5. Then a flock flies directly above my head, very close – breathtaking, as I say good morning to them. There is a fog bank on the horizon and every 30 seconds or so I hear the low, bellowing ship horns of a cruise ship as it emerges and behind it a cargo ship, signaling its presence. The sun is beginning to feel warm on me as I sit on my familiar log near the grove of young oak trees. I hear a solitary goose calling as it swims alone. I wonder where his companions are? Did they leave him? Not to worry, I am here.  It swims by on its way. I will be a safe haven for those who are lost and alone. I am here for you.

The swallows have awakened and fly around over my head in force, about ten to twelve, darting around, playing. Chirping ever so softly, they are gentle, soothing birds. It’s almost 8am as I sit here and watch for almost an hour. My friend, the dragonfly, has also returned. So much activity around me.

I wonder about my writing, why and who do I write for? I think it is just for me for now. To document what I experience, to remember it, and to crave more of it.  Finding my way, figuring out what life is all about. Learning to see, to hear, to experience, that which is real versus that which is illusion. It’s for me to practice living more fully despite what “reality” brings and elicits from me. It’s knowing that there is so much more than that. Being able to remember that and practice returning to the places that are real. Right now I have to physically ‘go there’ but with practice I am sure I will be able to mentally return there at a moment’s notice. This is my aim and nature is helping me with it. The young oaks nod in agreement. People are just one tiny part of what is real. There is so much more.

I sit on the cliff. Breathe. Just breathe. Find stillness. Realize that there is nothing, it is all only illusion. Remember this, nothing is real but spaciousness and untapped potential of being. Our work, our lives, our tasks, just fill up this spaciousness so we can no longer see it or experience it. But truth is that is all there really is, the rest is all illusion. It’s me. I’m creating the world, from my own perspective, I can see it as I want. There is no absolute out there but only shadows from which we interpret meaning. Plato’s analogy of the Cave that I studied in first year Philosophy. Everything is mere shadows. Sometimes we get lost spending our whole lives chasing after and trying to attach meaning to shadows.

I hear a rustling in the bushes but it no longer startles me as there is so much life around me here. Breathe. As I look out, ten dragonflies dance in front of me. It’s their turn to create a symphony. The sun is getting too hot so I move a chair to under the oak tree and its perfect. Cool gentle breeze blowing. I listen to a bird sing. Then silence. It flies to another tree and lets me know its there. It has a loud voice, louder than the other birds. It is now sitting on the grass but it is quiet. So many different bird songs, so distinct, some close, some in distance. Then the cawing of a crow. Yes, I hear you too. Five crows fly by. Yes I see you all.